for you

sometimes when we don't get the thing we truly wanted, or the thing we've been striving for, and working so hard to get, sometimes when we don't get that, that is the biggest lesson of all.
the lesson being...
*you were made for something bigger, something better, then what we set out to be.
we try our hardest to pass the test, or to get the boy, or to prove our self to our parents, friends, anyone we feel inadequate around, and we fail.
failure happens and it isn't because *you aren't good enough, or smart enough.
it is that we set our mind on this one goal and we forget that life is not a one way street.
i forget that all the time.
i know what i want to do, where i want to go and where i want to stay.
i forget that, that might not happen.
today i gave up on god, i don't care anymore.
how can i believe in a god who doesn't heal my best friend.
who doesn't give my other best friend the finish he deserves.
how can i believe in a god who i can't hear, or see, or feel.
i can't. i cannot believe in him, not like i used to.
i see so much hate and cruelty and sadness in this world, and i understand the concept that we were not made for this world but if i can't see love and compassion, and hope here, where god is suppose to take care of us and show us who he is, what's the point?
i still believe in god, i will still go to church, but there is a huge hole that has been reopened and god didn't completely fill it the first time, i sure hope he fills it, even overfills it this time, but it is going to take a awhile.
but this blog isn't about me, it's about *you.
i mentioned failure a few lines back. *you did not fail, *you are not a failure, *you just received another road. it might not be the road of preference, but isn't that the fun part, the part of life that gets to be spontaneous?
a friend was hurt and saddened this week and that put me over edge. it is not his fault, because he deserves more than anyone to get what he wants...but maybe, just maybe, he was meant for something bigger that we can't quite figure out yet, and i am okay with that, because i know him and i know he'll figure it out.
maybe a year from now he will get that thing he wanted, but for the time being...he will just have to learn to be patient and realize he was meant for something better.
not that what he wanted wasn't good enough, that isn't it at all, but there is something we aren't seeing yet with our lives that we aren't meant to see yet...i dunno, maybe it's our age!-can you believe i just said that?
*you are good enough, and *you are smart enough, and *you are worth it.
*you are meant for something greater that we just simply can't see yet.

i dunno, maybe i'm thinking to hard, but i just wanted to let *you know, that this is what i think of this situation.

*you know who you are.