5.06.2009

preoccupied

want to know what is really frustrating?
being preoccupied.
no! not being distracted by the tv, and no! not purposely distracting yourself so you don't have to study.
i mean 100% without a doubt preoccupied.
to the point you cannot focus on anything else except the person/situation/whatever plaguing your thoughts, and taking over your entire brain!!!!!!!!!!!
i cannot stop thinking about something and it is to the point i am more annoyed about the situation and thinking about it just makes me. oh. what's the word? not angry, not sad. hopeless! that's the word.
and the funny thing is, this 'something' i keep thinking about is so trivial.
yeah, it can be heart breaking, but i shouldn't let this break my heart, ya know?
you don't know because you don't know what i'm talking about, but if you know me well enough, you could make a pretty good guess.
i have done a great job studying this week, so it isn't a huge deal that i am taking a break, but i don't want my break to be me blogging about my preoccupied thoughts, when the thoughts at this point aren't even worth thinking about, because when i want something, and i mean really want something, i never get it...another clue to what i may be thinking about, if you didn't catch that, well, sad.
so, what am i going to do about this little itty bitty minuscule predicament that i am in?
nothing, because i know me, and i know that i will be thinking about this until i know that this 'something' is figured out.
i'm going to be preoccupied for a long time.

1 comment:

HLB said...

poo. i don't like a preoccupied emily! i mean, i LIKE her, i just don't like that she has to be that way...