this summer

i have one 1/2 options this summer.
why that 1/2? well, i could have an internship this summer in chicago, but emails are still being swapped on whether it would work or not.
so, with that said, i will either be there...chicago, or here...manhattan taking classes and working.
now, both of these have some great pro's but also some pretty significant con's.
i need to type these out and figure this out before i know for sure if i get the internship.

it's chicago...duh.
i would get to work with families and children and maybe even get some of my own case studies.
it would be freaking amazing for my resume.
i get to do what i love; listen to people's stories and just be a resource for people who need help.
it is first-hand experience of what i want to do with my life.
i don't know if it is paid or not...i don't really care.
i will be separated from 3 specific people who i do not want to be separated from.
i will miss at least 3 weddings this summer that i was really hoping i could get to.
i don't get to hang with my middle school girls when i go home.
i won't be able to take classes at k-state, which means i could possibly go an extra semester...with other circumstances this is the least of my worries.

i get to take three amazing classes, that i really want to take.
i can work to make extra cash.
those three people from above, i will be able to spend more time with.
i will be able to see my family more.
i will get to go to my weddings.
life will be more stable.
i don't really want to stay in manhattan over the summer...but it is not that big of a deal.
even with class and work, i will probably get bored.
it just won't be as fun, or feel as significant.

even though there are more cons on the chicago list does not mean manhattan would be a better fit, the pro's in the chicago list out way manhattan significantly.
either way my summer will be productive, i just don't want a boring life anymore and that is what i will have if i am in manhattan, so i am totally rooting for chicago.
if it doesn't happen though, that means the pro's in the manhattan list are suppose to happen.


generational typology

no that difficult people, the only thing you learn from this is what family members are involved, and how they support other family members...you do not need to know orientation, why a certain member may not support another family member, or anything else. you just have to know the terms...
g1, great grandmother
g2, grandmother
g3, mom (usually teen)
g4, child
and a few other terms to get the concept.

*let me give you a scenario: the grandmother(g2) is angry at the mom(g3) for getting pregnant, so, the grandmother(g2) decides to support the child(g4) and not the mom(g3) there would be a solid arrow pointing from g2 to g4. as well as an arrow pointing from g3 to g4.
now! lets say because of that, the great grandmother(g1) is pissed at the grandmother(g2) for not supporting her daughter(g3), so the great grandmother(g1) chooses to support the mom(g3) there would be a solid line going from g1 to g3.

this is only one super simple situation to how a generational typology chart would look.
why then can't a class of college students grasp that concept?

'the family' was so frustrating tonight...it is not that hard.

*if you want more examples or want to give me an example to try and stump me, go right ahead.

i hate my life...

when it comes to opening electronics.
i do believe it is government regulated plastic.



so, everyone knows that boys are fascinating, there is no way around it, but they seize to amaze me everyday.
seriously, like one of my favorite things to do when i'm at wal-mart is to watch guy roommates shop together...try it sometime it is worth watching.
another really funny thing boys do, is when it is really nice outside and they all sit outside their house in their lawn chairs, shirtless with a sign saying 'you honk, we drink.' or they collect all their liquor bottles (plastic of course) and connect them by a string and throw them over trees and they hang above the street.
well the reason for this rant on the funny things guys do, here is something i was given tonight by five boys who are true and dear to my heart...let me just share this little note with you;
"it's your birthday.
your 21st birthday.
you're getting old.
we here at kox (think the greek symbols)
wish you a happy, jolly,
pleasant, spiffy, inebriated,
wonderful, awesome, splendid,
magnificent, joyous, and
slightly magical day!"

if you could only see the back of the card.

just look at the word choice here.
here are five guys with majors involving pharmacy, medicine, and engineering, and they go from using words like jolly, to inebriated to magical...hilarious, boys are just hilarious...plain and simple.

so, to these specific boys in mind, thank you so much for the card, i could not have asked for a better first card for my 21st birthday!

oh! and i have barely even scratched the surface to how fun and interesting boys really are.


old guy and an acorn

i'm at the park running right? and there is this guy walking towards me and he is kicking an acorn.
remember when you were little and you would start kicking a rock or a pine cone and once it hit the grass, you looked for another rock or pine cone, well, this is what that guy did, and this is what he said to me,
"it brought me back to my youth."

oh man, it was great.

secrets suck

"anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. not only have i found that when i talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but i have found that when i silently commune with people they give up their secrets also if you love them enough."
-george washington carver

"a writer should have this little voice inside of you saying, tell the truth. reveal a few secrets here."
-quentin tarantino

“what is love? love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”

"if you would keep your secret from an enemy,
tell it not to a friend."
-benjamin franklin

“secrets are made to be found out with time.”
-charles sanford

"secrets are things we give to others to keep for us."
-elbert hubbard

"my secrets must be poetic to be believable."
-mick jagger

"confession is always weakness. the grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence."

"how can we expect somebody else to keep our secret if we cannot keep it ourselves?"
-fran├žois de la rochefoucauld

"there are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses."
-george bernard shaw


what can i do for you?

it is an interesting feeling knowing that one question can make someones day.
three years ago on April 14 was a day i should have asked this question.
people remember every birthday, every sports game they have ever played, what they where wearing, what they were doing, who they were with and where they were on septemeber 11, 2001, along with any important date in their life.
i don't.
i do remember what i was doing, who i was with and where i was on April 18 for the past three years.
i'm not living in the past or anything like that, it is just a very important date in my life, as well as April 14, when i should have asked my precious friend kyle, 'what can i do for you?' and instead i forgot to take him home.
if his death has taught me anything, it is to treat people with kindness and just love them and no, i do not do this all the time, and i should as should everyone because if everyone was kind and gentle not only to our friends, but to people we don't know... the suicide rate would go down. i just know it would.
so today, if not tomorrow or the next day or the next day, ask this question, 'what can i do for you?'


help me understand...

why do people take pictures of *themselves **through a mirror and then post them on facebook?
i really want to know.
i don't get it.
do they think they're cool, because they're not.
and right when i was about to post this...'sex on fire' by kings of leon came on...a little bit ironic? i. think. so.

*if it is with other people, it isn't as creepy.
**you know when people do this, they are doing it for a reason...do you need me to explain? think about it.

that's all.


'all we have to lose is time'

"let the crazy out in small doses.'
-addison kirkland

this is a very stereotypical quote said by addison towards girls in class tonight when we were talking about gender differences in boys and girls at the age of 17. the girls were pretty vocal about their disagreements on the terms shown where the boys not so much about the words said about them.
it was very interesting because both girls and guys have double standards...for example; girls have to 'put out' but not be a slut, fun and exciting, but proper and respectful. boys have to be macho,tough but sweet, they also need to be a sweet talker, but chivalrous...class was fun until we got to the next topic; domestic violence and how both men and women suck...ain't fshs 550 fun? you know it.


do you really know me...?

-breathe me, -go to for song- by: Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

...that would be a no.


this is why...

...i love middle schoolers

watching 25 middle school girls do the hoedown throwdown scattered around a movie theater during the *hannah montana movie...awesome and so so fun!!

*i am proud to say, yes i went and all it was, was three hannah montana episodes with no commercials.
all i gotta say is, boomdeclap boomdeclapdeclap, boomdeclap boomdeclapdeclap, haha.


got it

for the titles of my revelations and quotes...song lyrics!

chills x2

-what's your postsecret?

-the new slavery

quote #10

"it's times like this that i'm glad i have a pickle,"
-little boy from wife swap


i. i. i. i.

this story actually started out last night when my friend donnie said this...do not take it personally girls;
"if a girl says to me one more time that i should be lucky i will never know what it feels like to go through labor, i am going to pop their ovaries."
yes this is a very bold, maybe unnecessary statement, but i have to agree with him. no wonder the boy thinks we're crazy, we pull crap like that to try and prove some minuscule point...but, let me make this clear, this one line does not make the entire half of the world crazy, but i'm going off on a tangent.
so, today i go to human sexuality and you can only guess what we are talking about, yes the one subject in my major that i loath...childbirth and pregnancy. i am so over this subject, you have no idea.
well, my professor told us about a study that tried proving if women eat more fruits and meats they are more likely to have a boy and if women eat more dairy they are more likely to have a girl. who thought of this study? i mean really, that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard, i bet a boy thought of it.
if that can ever be proven...let me know and i will personally write a handwritten three page apology letter to the researcher who proved this theory and announce that not all boys are stupid, again, another tangent (and inside joke).
the reason our professor told us this was because her husband wants to have a boy, well she is prego with a girl, so tough luck.
what kind of irritated me is when guys get upset that the child isn't the sex they really wanted...not saying this dad will love her less, i'm just saying, anyway, this irritated me because the sperm is what decides the sex of the baby. now i know the man can't choose, but don't get mad if the baby is a girl and you wanted a boy when really it was your half that decided.
then, i look to my neighbor and you can only guess what she was doing! she was taking her birth control pill, i had never seen her take it during class before...it was hilarious, i was dumbfounded because it was so ironic.
and then, i go to human needs and no, we were not talking about childbirth thank god, but we were talking about gender roles and my professor kept using the terms male and female. i was so annoyed because gender is not biological, why was he using those terms? go here for a little lesson in the difference.
so this story was filled with irateness, irony, idiocy, and irritation.
it was a good day