quote #9

"but i am starting to get the feeling colleges do it on purpose not allowing us to be satisfied with where we are because we aren't meant to stay."-me

in a way this is a revelation also.

i need a name

i have two series: revelations and quotes
i need names for them instead of being lame and just saying revelation # and quote #

if you have idea's let me know...thanks!


quote #8 and revelation #9

this is a perfect description to how i live my life

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"

i do this thing where the people i think i could lose at any moment let run our friendship and i stop sticking up for myself or allow myself to get treated poorly, which isn't my personality.
I need to start sticking up for myself around the people i am afraid to lose because if i can't do that then they aren't worth keeping.

this could turn out bad.


7th quote

"tell me something i don't know."

"without mucus your stomach would digest itself."

-a convo. between the madagascar penguins

phone prank brilliance



i decided to give this ads thing a try and this is what happened.
look to the right of you and what do you see?
an add for *lds singles?
i have blogged about **mormonism twice! click here and here
out of everything i have blogged about,the one thing to pop up on the right of your screen, of course would be about ***lds singles!
i have blogged about zak efron, human rights, miley cyrus, movies after movies, revelations i've had, britney spears, barack obama, cutting, facebook, personal struggles, k-state, and an abundance of other topics popular enough to spur ads on my blog, but no, somewhere in the world of cyber space someone got hooked on the words mormonism and single and put the two together!
just think about this bloggers, twitters, facebookers, and myspacers... somewhere, someone is watching you.
what word just came to mind?

* if not, refresh your screen
** not a fan, and don't support
***we call this irony

slime time

*dwayane 'the rock' johnson had one task tonight...

to find the key to the tower of slime

did he find it?

the key was no other then...


in the key of g for green!

* hosted the nickelodeon kids choice awards
** only time i will use upper caps


thanks for the advice tom

didn't hear it, but love it!

“you have four years to be irresponsible here. relax. work is for people with jobs. you'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. so, stay out late. go out on a tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due wednesday. spend money you don't have. drink 'til sunrise. the work never ends, but college does..."
-tom petty


oh wow

i have these two sister missionairies come to my apartment a lot because they are friends with my roommate, and i really do enjoy them, they are very sweet girls, and i was excited to tell them that i finally found where the mormon church is.
i never knew and then i saw it yesterday and got excited because it had been bothering me that i didn't know, but i came to find something that bothered me even more.
one of the sisters said, that particular church is the singles ward.
did you catch that?
the singles ward!
first of all the fact that they use the word, 'ward' really? out of the entire english language, why, ward?
there are a few family wards around manhattan, but these two girls are here to share their gospel with college students, and the 'singles ward' is where most of them go.
i couldn't believe it! just typing 'singles ward,' freaks me out.
in my mind i was like, 'what, she did not just say that.'
they have a ward for singles so they can go and 'mingle' yep, that was the word she used.
talk about marrying off the clan...geez, i am still in a little bit of a shock when i shouldn't be.

in other news...brett, i miss you, nine years my friend, nine years. you were taken way to soon


revelation #8

again, this might not be a revelation, but it kinda falls under this category.
have you ever had something taken away from you, that you thought would never be taken away?
well, something was taken away from me this weekend and i didn't think it would affect me as much as it is and that is not okay.
the revelation: i don't know if i will get it back.

feel good drag

i really like this song, and it kinda hits somethings in my life right now...enjoy!

click here for the video

here are the lyrics;

"I'm here for you," she said
and we can stay for awhile,
my boyfriend's gone
we can just pretend.
Lips that need no introduction
Now who's the greater sin
Your drab eyes seem to invite
(tell me darling) Where do we begin.

Was this over before...
before it ever began?
Your kiss, your calls, your crutch
Like the devil's got your hand
This was over before
Before it ever began
Your lips, your lies, your lust
Like the devil's in your hands

Everyone in this town
is seeing somebody else
Everybody's tired of someone
our eyes wander for help
Prayers that need no answer now
I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake
I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin

Was this over before...
before it ever began?
Your kiss, your calls, your crutch
Like the devil's got your hand
This was over before
Before it ever began
Your lips, your lies, your lust
Like the devil's in your hands

Failure is your disease
You want my outline drawn
You were my greatest failure
Discourse your saving song

Was this over before...
before it ever began?
Your kiss, your calls, your crutch
Like the devil's got your hand
This was over before
Before it ever began
Your lips, your lies, your lust
Like the devil's in your hands



"Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt."

i know what i want to attempt, but will beauty be the outcome?
but that's not the point


i love movies

my parents went out of town this weekend which gave me the house!
i have not been able to see movies in theaters because they are so expensive, but this weekend i was able to knock off a lot of movies on my rent list.
these are the movies i saw all through break, not just the ones i rented in order of how i rated them.
rachel getting married(****)
W.(***)-if you were old enough to comprehend 9/11 watch this movie, whether you like Bush or not, it definitely surprised me.
the wackness(**)-there wasn't anything special about this movie, it was just about a kid who hated his life, it could have been a lot worse.
role models(*)-you might laugh, but it was really lame.

a comment

an interesting comment was said to me today, and i am not sure how to take it, but i am me, and am probably over thinking it like i always do.
i was leaving church today and a man in my parents bible study said to me, 'did you see brad?'
i thought he was talking about the brad in my parents bible study, not the brad who used to be our associate pastor who left a couple years ago and decided to show up again this sunday (there is a very long and involved story involving this)
i said, 'no, i didn't see him, he probably wouldn't recognize me anyway.'
i didn't talk to this brad that often, i really didn't know him that well.
the man who i was talking to responded with this, 'of course he would, everyone knows you and who are you.'
i don't know if that is a compliment, or if it is just because my name holds a lot of weight at covenant because of who my parents are, or if i am just a cocky arrogant person, that i didn't know i was.
i was slightly taken back.
but again, i am probably over thinking it like usual.


4th quote

"don't trust anyone who doesn't like pot or bob dylan. don't trust anyone who doesn't like the beach and don't ever trust anyone who doesn't like dogs."
-the wackness

i don't like pot
i don't like the beach
i am not a huge fan of dogs
i do like bob dylan

i guess you can't trust me...dang

god is love

i just finished the movie religulous, and it is an awesome, insightful movie.
i watched it in frustration, fascination, sadness, hopefulness and anger because a man who does not believe in miracles (i struggle with also), but believes if someone has faith they should be able to explain it traveled all over the world to make a two hour movie trying to prove any religion not just christianity is ignorant and basically the reason there is so much hate in the world.
i have to give him credit however, he made very valid points and had evidence to back those points up, but what is it about non-believers and even hardcore bible thumpers to only bring the parts out of the bible that provoke fear.
this movie presented a lot of scripture, but it was all from revelation, that's only like the scariest book in the bible.
what about john 3:16, or Ijohn 4:16, or psalm 139, or all the other passages in the bible that prove the bible to be a love letter, not a book of rules?
there were so many elements to this movie that i will just name a few off to you...
what is faith?
spending eternity with jesus
how to celebrate the sabbath
the ten commandments
a man who believes he is the second coming
getting kicked out of the vatican
judgment day
fred phelps
the different ways of worship
my favorite quote in the whole film was this, 'thanks for being christ-like,not just christian.'

he interviewed all sorts of people from different cultures, backgrounds, and beliefs, who had very interesting outlooks on whatever religion they were.
he also couldn't get over the belief, or stereotype that all jews are loaded.
this movie was well done because the man didn't judge or tell anyone they were wrong, he just asked questions, you can't be mad at him for that, but then the ending came and you started not to like him very much, no matter what religion you are.
i can't explain faith in a rational way, i can try my best to explain why i am a christian. i just know what i believe and trust that i have made the right decision.
i recommend watching this movie, no matter what religion you believe to be, or if you disagree with religion all together.



so, a few blogs ago i put at the end, when god gives you lemons...right?
well, i definitely got some lemonade.
yesterday was like the best day ever, it was the ace of days if you will.
a friend of mine, dawn, came to visit and we grabbed lunch and then became very girly in that we got pedicures and went shopping.
it's cool because i went to emporia with her and there are only two people i still keep in touch with from my one year of going to school there and it is just really awesome that i can still be just as close to dawn and misty and go to k-state.
so, yes, dawn coming up was a wonderful surprise and just a really nice gesture on her part, but the best part of the day was dinner!
however, the results weren't what i expected, but i should have.
anyway, i needed to get my friend donnie to jalapenos, only the best restaurant ever, and i finally did.
i had seriously been looking forward to jalapenos for weeks. i never get to go there, so ya know?
donnie wasn't completely impressed, but he didn't hate it, so i guess i can take that....maybe?
before yesterday this was my day, just hanging out with the da/o/w/nn/ie's, but then, my brother called me and was like, "hey lets go see watchmen at 10:00 tonight?"
oh my gosh! i have been looking forward to this movie since i saw the first trailer and let me tell you i was not disappointed.
it was incredible, i do need to warn you though, know your american history before seeing it, you will feel better about yourself, trust me.
i mean it was vindictive, violent, the writers didn't pull any stops, the fight scenes were so cool, and it was filmed in one of the most unique ways i have ever seen, plus, it was done wilth an all b-list cast.
the dialogue was choppy in that some characters had great lines and others didn't.
it had a great concept that they executed well; superheroes who have no hope in mankind!

so, god gave me lemons and lemonade was made! this spring break has been so much better then i had anticipated.
i also knocked off three 1/2 things off my list in an earlier blog!



i have been branded the therapist...want to know why?
my major
just because i want to go to grad school for marriage and family therapy automatically branded me when i ask any question.
for example;
how are you?
are you okay?
do you want to talk about it?
hmm, if i am not mistaken that is what friends do when they know for a fact (or not even that) another friend isn't doing great. am i wrong?
just because i ask these questions doesn't mean i want to psychoanalyze you, it means i'm here, it means i am just being a friend.
i ask questions, i always have, best advice my dad ever gave me was when he said, don't be afraid to ask questions.
that is what i do, i ask questions and if you think it is because i want to shrink you then you don't know me at all.

venting over



what do you do when a friend of yours is in a funk?
someone in my life has been in the weirdest mood and i can't figure them out.
like, the past two weeks have just been really strange, they have become distant and short tempered and don't want to talk about anything and it is so out of character.
i don't know, i guess i just need to wait it out, they will come around sooner or later, but it is just a little frustrating i guess.
also, if i ask them if they need anything or want to talk about something they tell me it isn't a big deal and to just not bring it up...which is fine, i drop it after they say that, but it is how they say it...very authoritative, which again is weird, because it is me just putting their needs first, that is what friends do if they care about someone, they put their needs first, right?
and hanging out with this person has been difficult too because they won't talk, this friendship lately has been very one sided, they have been there for me, but they won't let me be their for them and typing it out isn't helping like it usually does.
this will just have to take time.
i hate being patient, but i don't really have a choice.

to be 13 again

oh man, funny story!
hopefully i can give it justice through this blog, but i have a feeling you just had to be there.
i went for my run today and i ran into two 13 year old's...a boy and a girl.
the boy was looking good in his button up shirt and doing tricks on his skate board while she was all cute in her daisy dukes and t-shirt, but they weren't doing anything, not even talking, they were just spending time outside.
you could tell that they both had decided to 'go out' aka, eat lunch together in the cafeteria.
well, i passed them because it would have been weird if i was just three steps behind them.
an hour later! when i was on my way home from my high school, i run into the same two kids.
this time they were talking and this is what the boy said,
"well, you kinda screwed me, because of course i would rather spend time with you then jocelyn." (why he got screwed...jocelyn won't talk to him now)
no joke, that is what he said and she came back with,
but jocelyn liked (insert name here, i couldn't hear)why would you want to spend time with her?"
that quote was said with no sass, it was said in a very serious tone, like they are having a very grown up conversation!
-oh, and side note: the girl, both times i saw her had her thumbs glued to her phone. i bet she was texting jocelyn.

oh jeez, it was classic! the world of tween romance, god love'em


for this break

since i am home, and really have nothing to do, i have a list of somethings i do want to do, and it is the lamest list on the face of the planet because op sucks.
they aren't crazy, or really that exciting, but they are definitely worth fitting into my week.

go to blue moose with alicia.
go to jalapenos with donnie...he really needs to go there.
take one day, maybe two and just spend it outside. i love going to parks and taking pictures but i never get to go because no one ever wants to go with me.
the movies i want to see: watchmen, sunshine cleaners
i need to call my friend carly because i miss her

see the list is silly, but when god hands you lemons...right?


culture explotion

rachel getting married, one word...fantastic!
i now understand why this movie got four stars.
talk about a dysfunctional family, and not only that, it is following a wedding* which is stressful in itself.
let me just tell you what this movie involves-
eating disorders
unconditional love
sibling rivalry
car accidents
fatherly love
an abundance of culture, from the music, to the outfits, from how feelings are expressed, to how to load a dishwasher.
this movie is slow, it is involved, and it is gritty**, watch it, enjoy it.

*it follows the events of a wedding and everything that goes with that, if you do not like the process of weddings, take caution.
**it is filmed like a home video...not blair witch style, i promise.

this is why i hate coming home

it is spring break and i came home...that was the first mistake.
second mistake is just conversing with a particular member of my family.
we have never been able to get along...i don't remember a time when we did.
we do not get along and you know what, i don't really care.
we argue about everything, you name it, we are 100% different.
i mean how were we put into the same family? god has an interesting sense of humor.
arguing with this person is fine, because i know how they argue.
-they argue to win, not to find a solution
-when they know they have lost they just walk away and leave the conversation...really?
i have been home for just a little over 24 hours and all we have been doing is fighting with each other and it just proves why coming home is just a terrible idea.
they know the two things that get me really angry in an argument are when they say one of these two things, and oh man if they say both, i am on fire!
-'we have more life experience'
-'you haven't lived long enough'
i know, a mixture of the same thing.
wow, these two things can make me go over the edge so quick.
with one particular situation that we were arguing over today, their age and life experience has nothing to do with it.
seriously, when it comes to a particular addiction i know so much more then they do, because i am around it, they aren't, they hear things and know what people tell them, but they don't witness it on a primary level.
only eight days left at home, however this person is going out of town on friday, so plus.



life has been pretty sweet this week after a couple weeks of pure hell, but here are a few songs that have just put me in a fantastic mood everytime i hear them!!!!!!
if you want to dance.... here are some great ones


if you want to dance again, go
here and here

don't be critical of the title when you first see it.

if you are feeling a little love struck ">click here

if you are just really upset with someone and you want them to feel like crap...click here



favorite quote ever!

"if you see two howler monkeys fighting over a dead hooker's gallbladder while midgets throw peanut mms at them do you understand what you are seeing?

or the internal desires and motives behinds each individual action being witnessed?

will the obturator foramen get you anywhere?"

yes, these words were actually typed in my faceboook chat.

boo life

it is a tuesday night, and every tuesday i come home from my fshs 550 class, 'the family,' and i walk into my apartment and i am in the crappiest mood.
we talk about really depressing subjects.
they are so depressing because they are very real, very grown-up issues, and if there is one thing i am not, it is a grown-up.
the last couple weeks we have talked about poverty, class status, how women are not going to get married (exaggeration), but tonight, tonight was the worst, we talked about minimum wage...kill me.
we watched two documentaries; the first was following two families who are living paycheck to paycheck with children and who are just trying to get through life.
they were two very different families. one family was full of hope and worked hard and never lost sight of their future or their children's, they definitely had their hard times, but they had such a positive outlook on life.
the second family had a hard marriage, the husband and wife never got to see each other and except for the mom and daughter, the relationships in that family were terrible, don't get me wrong they worked hard too, but they had such a negative outlook on life.
we then moved on from that oh so up lifting video to the reality tv show, '30 days' about living a month on minimum wage.
from the movie, 'super size me' this guy went from living off the royalties of that film and his other 30 day ventures to living of around $40 a day, and sometimes not even that.
i had a few issues about this episode, would you like to read them? good.
one, this guy had the right idea, showing the world what it is like to work long hours for crappy pay and no insurance, but this guy is going to go back to his life after 30 days and will he really change? at the end of the 30 days, him and his fiance (who did this experiment with him) both had to go to the hospital, it was over $1000 dollars in medical bills...when he goes home he will be able to pay those off, not someone of minimum wage pay, it would take them months, maybe years to pay that off.
two, he had to go to the hospital because the free clinic was over-flowing with people who do not have insurance, he interviewed a doctor at the hospital...what the viewers don't see won't hurt them right? i can bet a large sum of money, he had that doctor look at his wrist when they weren't on camera.
three, their rent. they found this cheap apartment of about $325 a month, but they had to pay a deposit, now, i know that happens in real life, but the guy said they could pay the deposit and rent off within a few months, they didn't have to right away...do i need to make this anymore clear! after those 30 days, they will have their credit cards back, their cash they left behind that they can use to pay those debts back.
did this 30 day trial of living off minimum wage, really affect this couple? i highly doubt it.
there are a few other things i didn't really like about the whole 30 day concept, but they aren't as important as the above reasons, so i will spare you.
so, that is what made me really crabby, but what also made me crabby was the thing the couple proved in the episode. america's health care sucks.
this is the one thing i think was great about the episode, they were willing to share their medical bill cost. just for walking into the hospital, the two combined it cost $851.66, or something like that, that cost wasn't even including why they were there and their medicine...crazy and ridiculous.


facebook fads

has anyone else been noticing these things on facebook lately?
they are like the new thing everyone has to do. it's the rule, you were tagged, you have to do it, and don't forget to tag the person who tagged you, that is bad etiquitte.
these are like when notes were popular, and flair, and bumper stickers, which i admit to using and do find them somewhat enjoyable, but also a way to pass time when i should be doing something productive, and you're lying to yourself when you say you haven't done it either.
this one that is pictured had to be the start of them and i think they are so silly.
from here i have seen one that is covered with pin-up girls, disney characters (scar was the badass?), wii characters, little cartoon penguins, and a few others, but really?
i guess they can be fun, putting the right friend with the right photo and name, but do people really enjoy being tagged in these? probably not, especially when they don't agree with the title they were given.
like notes, flair, and bumper stickers, their popularity will soon be put in the shadows of yet another facebook chain of stupidity, i just hope it happens soon, but, they will probably resurface just like the note did.
oh, the on going cycle of facebook fads.


can't help but love his insanity

i can't help but love this guy.
he was on jay leno tonight and he is just hysterical. his best quote from the night was, 'i need it, it's my future.' you can only guess what he was talking about! and you probably still won't get it, unless you watched.
yes, he did a terrible job at the vma's last year, but all in all, he is just funny.
he's innapropriate at times, does not have any limits, and he isn't scared to be himself to say the least. i mean come on he has won shagger of the year three times in london...take that however you want.
you may have seen him in forgetting sarah marshall or bedtime stories, but this is probably his best feat yet, the man wrote a book, did anyone else know this? i didn't even know he was capable of doing that...have you seen him. the best part, the title is, 'my booky wook.' and i am so going to read it.
from harpycollins.com this is the description.

Russell Brand learned early on to make a joke of fear and failure. From a troubled childhood in industrial Essex, England, to his descent into addictions to alcohol, drugs, and sex in the seamy underbelly of London, Brand has seen his share of both and miraculously lived to tell the tale. In My Booky Wook he leads readers on a rollicking journey through his disastrous school career, his infamous antics on MTV, and his multifarious sexual adventures. But this irreverent memoir is a story not simply of struggle but also of redemption, a testament to the difficulty of discovering what you want from life and the remarkable power of a bloody-minded determination to get it. My Booky Wook is a giddy trip through the brilliant mind of one of Britain's most valuable exports.

new favorite word

"these girls are being biznoodles."-the real world

what does that even mean?


quote of the day

i have been hearing some pretty great quotes lately, so i am going to post them every once and awhile.

hope you enjoy

"my hobby is poking people with a stick, i just haven't figured out how to make money off that yet."-salina gomez as alex russo

it was written

this weekend i finally got to see slumdog millionaire, i felt like that person who didn't think the movie was going to be good until it won all there oscars, but that wasn't it at all, i had no money or time to go see it before, anyway, i'm rambling.
i knew i was going to like it because dev patel was the lead and i adore this kid, after watching him as anwar in the british teen drama, 'skins.' however, i did not expect him to be the one to make it over in america.
i thought the movie was fantastic, not just because of the acting, or how it was filmed, or the premise, but how the title fit the obstacles the movie had to go through.
one; the movie had four distributors...that's crazy, slumdog was suppose to go straight to video, but these companies had enough faith in the message to get it to the big screen.
two; the movie didn't make india look awesome to say the least, many protests happened involving the mumbai people and how they were insulted that the word slumdog was in title, and how they represented how children were treated.
three; the children of the film weren't given one large check which is cool, but to protect them they are giving them a check every year until they turn 18...i think that is how it worked, i could be wrong, but that is a pretty fantastic way to pay these kids, who are actually from the slums of mumbai, they also received new homes for them and their families.
there were a few things about the movie that i thought was really interesting. i saw this movie with my parents and one of them didn't like the brother salim...i had to disagree, i loved the brother, i thought he was great, yes, he didn't make the best decisions a few times, but can you blame him? he grew up trying to do the best thing for him and his brother (dev patel as jamal) but it got them nowhere, so he did what he had to do to survive, he also didn't know any better. his character at the end of the movie was pretty symbolic too, it just showed he really did care for jamal.
how the director showed the culture of mumbai and india in general was fascinating; how children are treated in certain parts...particularly little girls, how india when it comes to money is either rich or poor, and even the business of tech support.
one last thing, i know this happens in a lot of movies, but there are some pretty intense adult content that involve children and i wonder do these children (from mumbai) really understand what is happening and how this happens in real life. do they know because it is the culture they are from or do they just think it is fiction and in a movie? are these kids brains able to take the scenes they are involved in?

all in all, this movie was just absolutely amazing, not just for the message, or the plot, but the music was great and the different aspects of filming just made it all the better!