home

i'm torn.
now that i am back in manhttan i feel more at home then when i was in stilwell where my family is.
when i am in manhattan for a long period of time i cannot wait to go 'home' (stilwell), i love stilwell because my parents of course, my home church, and that is where i see my two best friends the most.
when i am in stilwell to long, i am ready to go 'home' (manhattan).
manhattan is where my school is, and my life. so, wouldn't manhattan be more of a home then stilwell?
i don't know what it is. stilwell holds my family, my history, and in a weird way my identity.
manhattan is my world, where i have closer friends then i ever had in stilwell, where life is leading me, and where i am learning and growing.
this isn't a strange concept.
i think a majority of college students have this same thought, of where home really is.
i am back in manhattan, i have only been here for a week and within the past 6 days i have had a better time then the four weeks i was at home in stilwell.
break was great, because i got to hangout with my middle schoolers and my two besties more then i have since the summer, but...
life has just been amazing this week.
i love my classes, i love my schedule, i have a better relationship with my parents when i don't see them everyday...that isn't a bad thing, and my friends are incredible.
i have to say for this time, this chapter in my life, manhattan is my home.
struggling about feeling important doesn't affect me as much when i am in manhattan, it does a little, but it would happen anywhere.
surrounding myself by the right people has realy helped. i never really had that in stilwell.
my christmas break was very thought provoking, which brings me to my resolutions...which i don't usually make, by the way.
-i want to cook more, i'm good at it and it's fun
-i need to be better with money...boring, but true
-stay in better contact with my middle schoolers
-be more outgoing...i am way to introverted

talking (interesting word choice) this out helped. i need to remember through my past few posts, people like me around, i wouldn't be loving life right now if i didn't feel i belonged.