am i important

one of the biggest things i struggle with is questioning my importance in the world.
with my family, my friends, what i do with my time, who i am as a person, etc.
sometimes i just feel really out of place, like i just don't belong, not that i was born in the wrong time or anything, but why was a born at all, what's the point?
in high school, my friends were my youth group...you know who you are.
i didn't have a lot of friends in high school and if i did, they were more acquaintances.
i had this one friend in the youth group who has been my best friend sense we were little.
it hasn't been sense i started going to k-state where we really started hanging out on a regular basis.
in high school they witnessed everything i went through, all the crap i brought upon myself, they have been there and know my history first hand.
in high school i knew, or i thought i was important to them.
i didn't realize this person had a completely different life i didn't know about. how would i? i didn't go to their school.
the friends i have now didn't know i existed in high school, they were/are friends with this person, and i was friends with this person, but there was no connection. it is like this person was living two lives.
they weren't embarrassed of the two lives, they were just never brought together.
but it is crazy things like that, that make me feel less important in this world.
i know i am important to this person...because i don't think anyone has a friend that isn't important to them, then they wouldn't be a friend.
but was i, was i important to them in high school? not that i am conceded and thought they should have mentioned me around their other friends, but for my friends now to not know anything about me, or who i was before we met, for some reason really affects me.
i talk about my friends a lot, so when my friends connect they already kinda know one or two things about them, so when i realized my group of friends now didn't know anything about me, yeah, i guess it hurt a little.
but maybe that is what i think everyone else does, which makes me ignorant, but that is a whole other topic in itself.
i am important, and i know my friends like me around, but in away i am still the outsider, i am still building roots with them, when they have known each other for years.
it is hard to believe that sometimes, not because of anything they do, they are still getting used to me also, but i never really knew how much i struggled with feeling important, or feeling like a burden until i thought of this example.
i think this whole topic of importance and feeling left out is really getting to me now because i feel really disconnected from my friends and in the next few months i think i might have to find another place to belong and that is my biggest struggle.