10.22.2008

appreciation for the ones i love

you want to know what i have started to really appreciate...when people say the following or do the following...
...'how was your day?' (and really mean it)
i have already made a post about this sentence, but someone could either have a really good day or a really crappy day, and i love this question because if someone is having an awesome day, we have given them a chance to talk and given them attention and almost boast about the wonderful day they had. we can also give them a chance to vent, which is definitely needed every once in awhile. i love coming home and asking this question and then receiving it back, it just helps me and my roommates just go through our day and almost detox.
...taking risks.
okay, i am not much of a risk taker, but i'm getting better and what is the point to life if we don't take risks; skydiving, giving a boy your number, sticking up for what we believe in, etc.
seeing someone taking a risk is inspiring, seeing that they have confidence and great self-esteem, will help others build the same confidence and self-esteem to start taking risks.
of course taking risks do come with, well, some risks...like skydiving, could potentially be life threatening. giving a boy your number could not end with the results one would like, and sticking up for something we believe in could have a loss in friends, an arrest, etc. but when taking a risk we cannot think of the bad things that could possibly happen we have to think of the positive and if that doesn't happen, let it go and realize taking a risk can be exhilarating and exciting and is more knowing the confidence it took to take the risk in the first place.
... telling someone thank you and there being no sarcastic comment or funny anecdote to lighten the mood.
it is so nice to tell a friend thank you and have them say, 1)thank you for saying thank you and 2)saying your welcome (which i don't hear that often) our generation i feel just doesn't really say it.
recently i went to a friend who probably did the best thing a friend could do, and it was nice knowing that i was honoring him and acknowledging something he did.
...When someone does something with no reason at all just to be nice.
i know people do nice things for people all the time, it isn't out of the ordinary, but why i have been noticing this is because i have the best roommates in the world.
i love simple gestures; doing the dishes, bring a friend a coffee, paying for something for a friend, giving a ride, loaning a book, a pen, anything. it just makes someone's day, knowing that we are loved.
i have been noticing these things not just because i see my friends doing this with the people around them, but i have been really trying to do these things, not out of routine, but because i want my friends to feel loved and just try to make their lives easier and more fun, which brings me to a thing that kind of irritates me...
...doing a nice thing for someone and them not really appreciating it
for example, it was recently my friends birthday and my present isn't complex, but it involves a little gift everyday for the age he is, and it was only the second day when my friend says, 'you don't really have to do this, you can stop anytime.' it kinda made me sad, 1) i am not giving him his gift because i have to, i am doing it because i want to and he's my friend, and 2)i know secretly he appreciates the gesture, but could he show it just a little bit.

this makes me sound like i am a saint, or i am doing nice things for my own well being, and yeah, i have to agree with the FRIENDS episode where Phoebe and Joey argue if there are such things as selfless deeds, because there is a little beit of selfish ambition in everything, but i am just trying to not do things not because it is what is suppose to be done, but because i want to show appreciation to my friends and make them feel good about themselves.

10.12.2008

phelps makes my heart hurt

so last week i went to a protest that involved fred phelps going against the community of manhattan...mainly k-state students.
the play that provoked this protest was, 'the laramie project,' the story of a teenage boy who was murdered in 1998 because he was gay, ironically the phelps protested the boys funeral, and now they were protesting the play.
i went to east stadium hoping to get a ticket at the door, i should have known it was going to sell out, but i thought i would give it a shot. i wasn't able to snag a ticket, so i went to go check out the protest happening on the corner of anderson and denison.
there were like 40+ manhattan residents and like 15 people on the phelps side. i thought that was hilarious, and fred phelps wasn't even there, he sends his wife to do the dirty work.
i thought this was funny because there is so much talk about phelpes and his protests...which i disagree with whole-heartdly, but this protest is really important to the phelps and there were only 15 people...could fred be losing steam?
i spent about 45 minutes at the protest running into some classmates and really watching what was happening, the posters cheryl phelps was holding were astonishing, and confusing, she was singing songs that i did not know, she was screaming at the top of her lungs, and no one was listening to her, just making fun of her as they drove by.
at this point tears were coming to my eyes when i read the poster 'God is your enemy,' i just don't understand, her husband is a minister, he knows the bible...at least i think he does, how can they hold posters that say, 'God is your enemy,' or 'God hates fags,' because God does not preach hate, or posters like, 'God hates america,' i just i don't understand. my heart just started hurting for her
i had to keep telling myself, if i don't want them to judge me, i cannot judge them. I do not believe that God is working in them, God would not have humans telling other humans that he hates us. some would say, 'they do that because they think they are doing Gods work.' telling us God hates us is not doing Gods work, it's doing the oppisite.
i also had to keep reminding myself, i do not know fred phelps heart, his wifes heart, and all the other protesters hearts, i do not know were they stand with their christianity, if they are chrisians. i just have too remember that God is love and he would never want me to think that he hates me.
i wish the phelps would go away. i would also like someone to finally stand up to them, people have tried and some have succeeded, but the love of Christ has still not gotten through to them, which makes me ask...how can they think they are Christians?
i am angry because they make me look bad, they make my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ look bad, and that's not okay with me.
i am also a little angry that the phelps are all talk, they say they are going to protest anything they disagree with, which again i am not okay with, but phelps; if you are going to say you are going to be somewhere, don't send your posse to do your work for you and don't half-ass it, go big or go home, and because you haven't been doing that, i think you are finally realizing what you are doing is wrong.