part 2: others needs

example two:
friend c has issues...how do they deal with it? processing the situations by themself and figuring it out on their own.
friend d has issues...how do they deal with it? verbally.
how these two friends collide? friend d may go to friend c with their issues and have to talk about struggles in their life and friend c may be more then happy to be there for them...but! friend c does not process verbally so they may not talk to friend d about their life, who needs a give and take friendship.
friend c is giving, but not allowing friend d to give back, which means friend d does not feel as needed as friend c. but! on the other hand, friend c starts to get frustrated with friend d because friend d maybe taking up a lot of friend c's time.
friend c is not getting what they need from the friendship because friend d is not giving what friend c needs by letting them have time to them self to figure their life out. so, friend c starts resenting friend d because all their attention is going to friend d's issues and not their own.


basically, friend c and friend d are thinking about their own needs and not the others. they both have problems but have not figured out a good balance, or set boundaries to where they both win...friend d can verbalize their life, while friend c may understand friend d needs something back from friend c, but just doesn't process that way. but friend c needs to learn patience with friend d.
friend d needs to realize just because friend c doesn't share their life all the time doesn't mean they don't like friend d any less. (if friend c doesn't share their life because of trust issues, then there again is a need that isn't being met)

lesson learned: friendships have to be as selfless as possible, but two friends should be able to tell the other what they need from the friendship. there needs to be a balance of putting the other person first, but making sure the intimacy isn't tampered with because someone isn't getting what they need.