we won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life'-twloha
lately i have been making some very adult, very tough, potentially heartbreaking decisions that i should never have to make and to some people i may or may not be making the 'correct' choices.
the thing about that is...the people questioning me, really no nothing about the situation i'm going through.
they only know what i tell them, but the aren't in my brain, and they don't understand my heart.
they take the view of trying to make me think differently because a new perspective can help.
not with this one.
i know i am not perfect.
i know i have messed up in a few cases, but looking at the big picture i have handled this ridiculously well.
i just need a little credit.
i need my friends to trust me and believe me that i am making the right choices, and that what this whole blog is surrounding i have been around since i was 14...i'm 21 now. that is a longtime.
yes i could be numb, i could be unemotionally detached, but ya know what? that allows me to think logically and rationally about the events happening in my life.
i have been praised by the adults in my life and how i have handled the most stressful situation in my life at this point.
what i need is encouragement from my friends and i'm not getting it.
i appreciate their input, i really do, but they need to understand i know the situation better, i have lived with it for an extremely long time.
just fucking trust me.
i don't want to start resenting people or withhold my anger, and i'm not even angry, i'm disappointed that the people i talk to most about my struggles just question everything i do.
i should and am confident in my decisions and how i am balancing my life and not getting to wrapped up in things i can't control.
i know how to show love to the person who needs it the most from their best friend because i know them, whether they see the love or not or no longer know me at all.
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